I Am Missing It

I am missing the Autumn season fun and I am really sad. Between work, working on the new house, and moving into the new house I am missing everything fun. I missed the county fair, the state fair, I have not made caramel apples or turkey chili. I have no fall decorations except at the shop and we are all "Falled up" here. Usually by now I have already made pumpkin pancakes and a few mini loaves of pumpkin bread. I cannot find any Oktoberfests around here. I am whining, I know but gosh darn this is my favorite time of the year. I will let it go. It is not like this is the last fall ever.

I will just have to make up for the loss at Christmas. I am pretty excited about the holidays this year. I will not have to travel 1800 miles to spend time with my family. I will not have three weeks off in the month of December either but work is different here and I am not nearly as stressed out. I know they are coming up to my house for Thanksgiving and maybe I can convince them to come up for Christmas too. It will be my first year home in a very long time so maybe my sister will let Santa come to my house. We shall see.

100th Post and I Bet Leaves are Fast Talkers

I slept at the house last night. On an air mattress because I was too tired to drive to my grandfather's. It is one of those thick comfy mattress but it was still uncomfortable. My bed has spoiled me.
What about this weather? Cold, warm, rain, sun, a little bit of everything. The leaves are really starting to fall from the trees but sadly there is no fantastic color display. In Northern VA I would be speechless for a week when the leaves were at full color. Bright orange, red and apricot trees were everywhere. I always thought they looked like the warm glow of lamps in a cozy window. When the leaves began to fall there was this amazing smell everywhere and they would whip around you as you walked down the street like small tornadoes. Even the most mature person is tempted try to catch a handful. I imagined the leaves saying "Oh hello! Happy Fall, always go out in style, I like your scarf, gotta go, in a rush, OK bye!" I bet Fall leaves are fast talkers. I just realized that this is my 100th post. Shoot, I was going to do something fancy. Oh well....

Was Curly Happy?

If you have seen the Musical "Oklahoma" you will remember when Curly gives up his career as a cowboy and becomes a farmer. I know it is only fiction but I wonder about him. Was he a happy man in the end? I know he loved Laurey, but was it enough?

What about all of the cowboys out there that became farmers. I am sure there were some cowboys that rode the range just to make the money and see new sights but never planned to make it their life. There were also those that just could not be tamed, they could not sleep in the same bed every night and walk the same paths to the same jobs. I think they are the type of men that cannot be tied down by a society.

Is it just in a man's nature to be free and some choose to build a home and never roam but deep down they want to wander? Are some men just wired with the cowboy mentality and others are not? I think we live in a society that is not as tolerant of the traveling man because he is not socially responsible and fails to conform. There have always been the hobos, cowboys, traveling salesmen and the strangers roaming about, there always will. Have we gained a fear of strangers due to the media and their coverage violence in America? There has always been terrible violent acts in this world only now we are more aware of them.

I wonder these things because because I loved a man that had the wanderlust and nothing I could do could bind him to a life in one town. He was clean cut, very smart, handsome, quite normal if it were not for his need to escape from all things familiar and comfortable. I swear if he was not born in the 70's and in New York he would have been a cowboy. I know he loved me and tried to be what I wanted but it was not in him to do it. Near the end of our on again, off again eight year relationship "I told him you are not a house cat, you are a stray". He agreed with a proud smile. I have only recently come to accept that it was never me that he rejected. It was the life I lead.

I do not regret the past because when things were good and he was not running off to who knows where, I was happy. I am thankful for the happy times. I now love life more and I have the courage to do things that others would never attempt because of him. I cannot say I love him anymore because he was never what I wanted. In the end, I always wanted a house cat.

I can now spot the type right off. It is a vibe I get from them saying, "No ties, no chains". I find them exciting and scary, I want to experience their freedom but I am afraid and know it is not who I am. I like to be near them and absorb some of their experiences from our conversations. I would never choose to date them anymore but it makes me happy to know they are out there.

I don't even think I want to know the science behind it. Facts and figures really don't matter to me about this subject. I would rather let these questions be left unanswered. Having questions to ponder is good.

Blah Blah Blah

Here is a little bit of what is going on. Today I have sanded and painted two very large planter boxes that we will use for the plants at the Chickasaw Festival Meeting. It is a pretty big deal and we get to do all of the stage plants and silk arrangements. This place has been filled to the brim with large plants and it has been lovely. I am now working on a few more mums. I really enjoy my job. I think I have said that before.

I am working on the house and yesterday I even unpacked a few boxes in the kitchen. It was like shopping but I loved everything and it was within my budget. The day started out very cool and then in the late afternoon it became very warm and muggy so the house felt stuffy. After the sun went down I went out and sat on the porch. A cool night breeze and the faint smell of a fire in the distance made the porch a much better place to be. After about thirty minutes I realized that the only sound I heard were animals and an occasional passing car. No sirens, no planes, no helicopters. There was not the constant hum of the cars on 395. It was so peaceful.

Chicken Sauce and Vegetables

The town I live in is the Capitol of the Chickasaw Nation. The annual Chickasaw Festival is being held this week. It reminds me of a sweet moment when my son was three. My husband was Navy and was deployed to the Mediterranean for six months so we stayed with my parents during that time. I had told my son about the festival and we talked about the Native American culture and I explained that we would be going to the parade and to see all the exhibits the next day. I often videotaped my son and sent his father the tapes with him telling his father about the things we were doing. I was videotaping him and said "Tell daddy where we are going in the morning." my son replied in a cheerful voice "We are going to the chicken sauce and vegetables!!" He is now sixteen and I can remember that little phrase like it was yesterday.

Fall Decorations

I cannot find any of my fall decorations and it is making me so annoyed. I can picture the box that I packed them in. I have seen them since I got here, so where are they?
I looked back at the fall decor post from last year and it makes me so sad. I want to put the fall berry wreath up on my half finished house front door. I want to put out the "poison" candy jar. If you have seen my fall decorations could you buy them a bus ticket home? I will happily send you the money.
What a crazy five months it has been. I am ready for a little bit of boring. I appreciate my old apartment more now than ever. Knowing the location of nearly all my things was something I took for granted. I will enjoy finding a place for everything. I will put the seasonal items in neatly labeled boxes and smile every time I look at them. I will do all of this in what I call "future perfect world". I have a lot lined up in my "future perfect world". A lush tiny English type garden hidden in the back of my property, Fall dinners under my big Pecan tree on crisps nights and we will eat butternut squash soup out of pumpkins, an imperfect white picket fence surrounding the front yard with heirloom yellow (drought resistant) roses growing all over it. It all may not happen, but isn't it lovely to think it might?
Yesterday, I took off the ugly aluminum screen door and painted the front door before I remembered to take a picture. I keep doing that. How will you know how fantastic the house looks unless you see the before picture?

Introducing Mr. Weenie B.

Here he is all healthy and posing

Here is the sweety all sicko